Questioning awards and best labels like "Best Wedding Magazine"

Recently, I’ve been contemplating the significance of industry accolades in the wedding sector. You’ve undoubtedly seen them—those gleaming awards and digital emblems declaring someone the “Top Celebrant” or “Premier Photographer” of the season. They dominate professional websites and social profiles everywhere.

Yet I find myself wondering: what exactly constitutes “best” when discussing something as intensely personal as a wedding ceremony?

The Myth of Objective Greatness in a Subjective Craft

Unlike athletics where winners are determined by measurable metrics—who jumps highest or runs fastest—wedding services exist in the realm of emotional resonance and personal connection. There’s no universal metric for how effectively I establish rapport with a couple, no standard measurement for the emotional impact of a ceremony.

Malcolm Gladwell frequently discusses a psychological concept called the “peak-end rule”—originally developed by psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his colleague Barbara Fredrickson. This principle suggests people evaluate experiences primarily based on feelings at the most intense moment and conclusion, rather than averaging every moment’s impression.

Consider the implications for weddings. A celebrant might craft the most bespoke, moving ceremony imaginable, but if the caterer serves undercooked chicken, or if the bride’s heel breaks during the first dance, these peak-end moments might colour the entire memory of the celebration.

Dr. Elizabeth Dunn, who researches happiness at the University of British Columbia, notes: “Our memories are not like videotapes that record every moment of an experience. Instead, we create memories based on a few critical moments.”

The Connection Element

When I consult with couples, there’s an ineffable rapport that either develops naturally or doesn’t materialise. Some pairs walk into my consultation space and within moments, we’re completing each other’s thoughts and sharing genuine laughter. Others might find my approach too casual or insufficiently formal for their wedding vision.

Does this variation make me more or less skilled at my profession? Certainly not. It simply means I was the appropriate match for certain couples and not for others.

As noted wedding photographer and industry voice Jasmine Star observes: “The best vendor for a wedding isn’t the one with the most awards, it’s the one who gets the couple on a soul level.”

The Situational Nature of Quality Service

Each wedding represents its own unique ecosystem of personalities, relationships, cultural backgrounds, and emotional dynamics. A celebrant who expertly handles family tensions at one ceremony might struggle with the quick-witted exchange expected at another.

Seth Godin, marketing philosopher and author, addresses this concept in his blog: “The mistake is believing that there’s one ‘best’ for everyone… Instead, there’s only the best for a particular situation, a particular need, a particular client.”

Throughout my career, I’ve conducted ceremonies in intimate garden settings with barely a dozen guests and in upscale venues accommodating hundreds. I’ve united couples desiring religious elements thoughtfully incorporated and others preferring references to Star Wars rather than scripture. Each scenario demanded different capabilities, different energy, essentially different versions of myself as a professional.

The Award System Machinery

It’s worth examining how these accolades actually function. Many require nominations or applications with associated fees. Some are determined by public voting (transforming them into popularity contests rather than genuine quality assessments), while others are evaluated by panels with varying degrees of industry expertise.

Abby Larson, who founded Style Me Pretty, has observed: “The wedding industry has created a self-sustaining ecosystem of validation where vendors essentially reward each other for being part of the same network.”

I’ve witnessed talented newcomers excluded from these recognition systems simply because they haven’t yet established the industry connections or social media presence necessary for nomination consideration, despite delivering exceptional service.

What Genuinely Matters

If not industry awards, what should couples prioritise when selecting wedding vendors? I suggest three key factors:

1. Genuine connection: Do conversations with this professional flow naturally? Do they genuinely comprehend and honour your vision?

2. Reliable excellence: Look beyond curated highlights. Request complete galleries from photographers, read unedited ceremony scripts from celebrants, listen to full performances from musicians.

3. Shared values: The vendors who will best serve your needs are those whose fundamental values align with yours, whether that’s creativity, traditionalism, inclusivity, luxury, or simplicity.

As celebrant and author Alicia Ostarello writes in her book “Sacred Sendoffs”: “The right celebrant isn’t the one with the most accolades, but the one who makes you feel seen and understood in a way that will translate to your community on your wedding day.”

The Broader Implications

I’m not suggesting that all wedding industry awards lack merit or that accomplished professionals shouldn’t receive recognition. Rather, I advocate for a more nuanced understanding of excellence in an inherently subjective field.

For couples: Trust your intuition when meeting potential vendors. The connection you experience carries far more significance than any emblem on their website.

For vendors: Let’s concentrate on being the ideal match for our specific clients rather than pursuing some abstract, universal standard of “best.”

For award organisations: Consider establishing categories that reflect the diverse requirements of modern couples rather than suggesting there can be a singular “best” in any category.

Ultimately, I’d rather be exactly the right celebrant for 50 couples than the “award-winning” celebrant who wasn’t quite the perfect fit for anyone. Because when I stand before a gathering, witnessing two people pledge their lives to one another, surrounded by their closest loved ones—that moment isn’t about me or any industry recognition. It’s about creating a ceremony that authentically represents who they are and what they value most.

And there simply isn’t any award or metric that can measure that.